finding time for me

This is something I've not really done much of the last several months.  I am especially finding it difficult with a new baby that needs to be with me at all times since he doesn't take a bottle.  So, I have to really make an effort to find time to do things for myself.  Right now the girls are playing happily and leaving me alone for once, and PJ is hanging out in the playpen and talking to his animals on the mobile above him.  I should really get out my sewing machine and do some sewing for the kids, but instead I am here on the computer typing a blog post.

I need to force myself to be more diligent about taking time for me daily.  I have many activities that I enjoy doing and the things I need to do them, but I don't take the time to do it.  I have about 20lbs to lose, and I have workout DVDs plus access to free workouts on Netflix and on my cable's OnDemand collection.  I have a large supply of fabric and patterns for myself and the kids, and a long list of things to make for us (mainly we need skirts and dresses, and PJ needs more diapers).  I have yarn and knitting/crochet needles/hooks plus patterns for things I want to make.  I have 2 books of music that I can learn to play on my flute or the piano.  I even have almost a dozen books on my Kindle, just waiting for me to read them, and a couple games for the Wii and Playstation 3 that I haven't played in a long time.

As I said, I have a lot of great stuff that I can do, and yet I do not take the time to do any of it.  Instead, while Scott reads to the girls at bedtime, I watch tv and rock PJ to sleep before I head off to sleep myself, and I get up with the first child in the morning every day.  The free time I have, in the past I've spent at the computer playing games and reading on chat forums.  I need to rekindle that spark for my hobbies and do it.

So, I am going to set up a plan.  Yesterday we had our first quiet time after lunch, and today I plan to do it again after Lydia's yearly checkup.  During that time, I am going to finish the shirt I have waiting for Jordan and then start making skirts for us all (the girls each need 4 or 5 at a minimum and I need 3 or more, that is a LOT of skirts) if PJ will let me put him down.  If not, then I will get out my yarn and start making dishcloths or I'll read a book on the Kindle.  Quiet time is 90 minutes that I can spend doing what interests me, so I'm going to do it.

And yes, I do consider making clothes for the kids to be fun and relaxing to me.  I have always enjoyed sewing, and I have wonderful high quality machines to do it.  Anything is fun for me to sew no matter what it is and who it is for, so I will be taking advantage to make some clothes that we need anyway and just continue to enjoy the sound of the machine humming away and the feel of the fabric in my hands as I work it through my machines.  It is a highly satisfying thing to start with a pattern and a pile of fabric and then see it transformed into something useful and beautiful.  Blankets, pillows, clothing, toys, you name it I'll make it.

Yes, I need to remember to take more time out for me.

fasting

I have come to the decision that I spend too much time on the computer.  It is very easy to sit down just to read a friend's blog and then end up spending a couple hours playing games on Facebook.  So, I have decided that I am taking time off this machine.  For at least a week, the only times I will be getting on the computer are to check my friends' blogs (I have a few that I read regularly), to post on my blog, and for homeschool purposes (printing off materials, finding something to add to the lesson, stuff like that).  So, if we talk on a chat board, are Facebook friends, etc. you will not see me around much at all for a while.  I do access on my phone a couple times daily, but I get irritated easily with the smaller screen.

My family is going through a lot of changes here in our dynamic, and the girls need more of my time than I have been giving them because of this computer habit of mine.  I started this yesterday, and will continue definitely until Scott gets paid on Friday.  It is time to get back to the family, and spend more time living and loving with them.  I have 5 amazing children and a wonderful husband, all of whom are being neglected by my time at the computer.  It is time to stop this and get back at life the way we are meant to live it.

The kids are also being limited in their computer and television time as well, which is a new thing for us.  This should be interesting, to say the least.

Saturday fun

Scott has a thing he likes to do with the girls.  On the first Saturday of every month, Home Depot has a free kids workshop.  He takes them up and they get an apron, popcorn, and build something.  Today he took them for the first time since PJ was born.  They built little planter boxes, and the store gave away free plants to the kids as well so they all came home with strawberry plants.  The girls also got to meet Chester Cheetah (the Cheetos character).  I have to figure out how to get the pictures out of my texting inbox and onto a computer first, but as soon as I do that I'll edit this with pictures he took.

And while they were at workshop, PJ and I went grocery shopping for a few basic necessities.  I really am happy that we splurged on the carrier that we got me last month, he hung out in it on my chest the entire trip and then got mad at me when I took him out again at the car (Scott took the van) so I could buckle him into his seat.

May goals

Well, it is a new month, so it is time for new goals.  I like setting goals for a month, it helps me to get some focus going on and motivation to get it done.

Homeschool goals:

Liddy finish her level of math
do spelling at least twice a week with Missa
Get Kimmy reading to me at least 3 times a week
keep working with Jojo on her letter sounds

Household goals:

stay more on top of the housework than I have been
catch up the laundry fully
plant shrubs out back

Personal goals:

daily time with my Bible
finish reading "Love and Logic"
exercise twice a week on purpose
go to bed by 10pm every night
smile more often

Yes, I think that is enough of a goal setting for now.  I have a lot of places I need to improve as a wife and mother, so my plan for this month is to start working on the areas that need the most help.  One day I may take the time to share all my shortcomings that I need and want to work on, but I rather like the idea of just posting a couple to work on each month instead like this.

And just because I can, here's my first picture this month of PJ and me together.  Please try to ignore the smears on the mirror, I know I need to take some Windex to it.

I can't believe how big he is getting already.  He will be 3 months old here in just 16 days, and in 9 days Liddy will be 8 years old.  I am NOT ready for this month.

ornery kids

Look what they taught my sweet little baby boy to do.

The girls taught PJ to stick his tongue out when they stick theirs out at him........  And Scott helped with that lesson.  Darn ornery girls and daddy!

But he is starting to laugh now when you get him excited enough.  I love getting him going real good with the kicks and the grins and squeals until he gives out a little chuckle.  He's also starting to blow raspberries during those times too, which just increases his cute factor.

Yup, I am definitely going to have my hands full soon with him, especially since he's starting to do pushups and can already propel himself forward by wiggling his front end and pushing with his legs and feet.  I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet.

9 years ago

OK this is a couple days late, I should have posted it on Saturday, but hey better late than never, right? :-)

9 years ago, I was 21 and clueless.  I also became a mom for the first time ever on April 14th at 4:30pm to a 6lb 14oz little baby girl.  I had never held a baby before in my life, and was from that point on expected to take care of and train this baby girl to be a beautiful independent woman.  I had to ask the nurse at the hospital how to change a diaper and bathe my baby, I was that clueless.  I felt like I would never figure out this who parenting thing.  All I knew was that I didn't want to give up and leave like my own mom had done when I was little.  I was determined to give that baby girl both a dad AND a mom, and a life that I never had.

And now today, that guinea pig baby girl I had at 21 is a beautiful and kind, compassionate, caring girl who is growing into an amazing young woman.  She has an independent streak almost as big as her stubborn streak, and makes me proud of her every day.  She has her struggles with learning differences, but her determination to push through and master her lessons is something to admire.  I can't wait to see what the next 9 years of her life will bring, she is an amazing person.

Happy 9th birthday Missa.

lookie what I got in the mail today

That, my friends, is an Action Baby Carrier (ABC).  I love wearing my babies, and I find it increasingly needed as our family grows.  I've never actually purchased a baby carrier before, as all ours were either gifted to us or I made them myself.  I had 4 different carriers (2 wraps, a sling, and a mei tai) but PJ didn't care for any of them, so Scott and I decided to try purchasing a soft structured carrier and see if that would be any better.  He loves being held upright, but none of the other carriers I had would give him the support he likes to have (trust me I seriously tried).  So, I did some looking and asking around before deciding to purchase an ABC to try.  This one is the Deco Dots print, which is the lowest priced clearance carrier they have currently at $65 with free shipping in the US.

It was ordered on Saturday, then on Tuesday I got notification that it was finished.  Today is Thursday, and it is at my home.  I ordered direct from ABC instead of through one of the retailers, and this is the standard size carrier.  The girls helped me open the box it came in, then I took PJ into my bedroom to try putting him in it (I always do the first couple times with a new carrier/kid combo on my bed in case I drop the baby, soft landing spot is a good thing).  It took under a minute to get him in it and the thing perfectly adjusted, and then we put on my shoes and coat before heading outside with the girls to play before lunch.  He stopped crying as soon as I got him in it, then fell asleep within just a couple minutes.  He stayed asleep for an hour and a half, which allowed me to play with the kids outside, make lunch and feed them, then load the dishwasher and get it running before having a bit of computer time.

I think its safe to say he loves it.  I love it too, my back didn't bother me one bit the entire time he was in it and I'm about to get him back in it so that I can unload the dishwasher and refill and run it again.  I wish I had gotten one of these when Missa was a baby.

a kid on crutches

What a crazy time its been here the last couple days.  Missa managed to fall and hurt herself on Tuesday, so we had an unexpected trip to the doctor.  The official diagnosis is a couple bruised bones and she pulled/stretched muscles and other goodies in her left foot.  I was told ice, Advil, and keep her off it for at least a few days.  Well, yesterday I couldn't keep her off it at all, she kept getting up and running around with her sisters whenever I wasn't watching her, so last night we put her on crutches to keep her weight off that foot.  Hopefully we can get her back on her feet by Sunday, we have a special trip planned for a birthday gift for her (she'll be 9 on Saturday).

She is soooo like her momma with her coordination.

next school year's social plans

Ahhh yes, the social aspect of schooling.  Many people love to ask about socialization when it comes to homeschooling.  Well, I thought I'd give a peek into what we are planning for outside activities to show you exactly how a homeschooler does things.  Now remember, I have 5 kids and I attempt to get as many kids as I can convince into a single activity so that I'm not doing 2 million different things at once.

American Heritage Girls (similar to Girl Scouts, but with a biblical and family emphasis)
Awana (2 in T&T, 1 Spark, and 1 in Cubbies)
weekly park trips as long as weather allows
regular grocery store trips
a million checkups for kids with doctors
church Saturday nights (including Motion City)
maybe 4H if we can agree on what they will do
regular library trips

And this year we also are adding hopefully a couple of trips out of state for history-related field trips.

One of the best things is that we are able to provide a social moment pretty much every time we go out in public.  It is impossible to go somewhere and not interact with anyone at all, so we are blessed to have such a variety of ages and personalities and so on with public outings for social moments, instead of being locked up in a classroom all day during the week and only interacting with your age-mates and teachers during designated times.  This is something I really am looking forward to, I know that I will be incredibly busy with the things that we have planned for the school year as far as running around for the various activities and all that may entail.  However, it will be worth it to provide the kids with such a valuable real-world application of the social lessons they are getting with all of this.

Take that, socialization myth.

American history 2012-13 school year

Yup, that's what I'm doing this upcoming fall.  Our *plan* is to either get Sonlight core D (the first part of a 2 year US history study) using the 9 month time payment plan, OR to create my own thing.  Since we can't apply for the payment plan until after April 1st, I am spending this week's free time looking over resources to buy for us to create our own thing.  I'm going to just post this as a reminder of what I'm liking as of right now.

History Pockets- love these, we did the grades 1-3 ancient civilizations one alongside our world history studies this last couple years and it was great.  I'm going to be purchasing some of the ones that go with US history to do as the starting point for our studies, and we'll lapbook them instead of making the construction paper pockets (how we did the ancient civ. one)

Smithsonian Children's Encyclopedia of American History- I am pretty sure this is the US history reference book we'll be going with, but I'm still exploring the different ones available.  It is going to be difficult to find one that doesn't have an obvious political slant (either liberal or conservative) but this one appears so far to be fairly neutral.  I need to take this search to the local public library this weekend to see if I can find this one to look at closer, as well as look over some other reference books that they may have. (feel free to comment if you have a suggestion for a good book to fill this spot, it will be one of my big tools for teaching this subject)

library books- an ever-popular resource, I'll be finding a lot of books at the library to add to our studies.

Not too much set up yet, but I'm working on it.  In fact, if I get a good feel of what I'm doing before we can try for the payment plan, I may just opt to go this route instead of buying Sonlight.  I'm actually having fun trying to come up with something to do on my own like this instead of just buying the next core package in line, although I can 100% guarantee that I will be buying Sonlight's core F in a few years for the girls to do while PJ does a core (either the P cores or core A, depends on how old he is when we buy it)

the Kindle

Yes, we finally bought one this month for me.  I swore that I'd never own one, as a book lover one of my favorite things about reading a book is the rustling of pages and being able to twiddle the side of the pages as I read to help me focus.  However, books are horribly impractical for reading when you are spending hours a day stuck in a chair while the baby is latched on to nurse.  A traditional book is a little too heavy and big to hold with one hand and read easily, and turning pages is a chore.  So, Scott and I agreed that a Kindle would be the way to go.

We were initially going to get the Kindle Fire because I like gadgets like that, but we decided to go instead with the classic and continue to save up for my iPad that I've been wanting since they first came out.  That iPad will come in VERY handy at managing my life with some of the apps I can get, but that's a completely different post for a future date when I actually GET the iPad and can share all the things I will be using it for.

But anyway, the Kindle.......

It was a breeze for me to get set up and charged, and get some books on it.  I have about $24 in Amazon gift certificate money loaded to my account still, and I want to spend it on books for me to read.  I have many free domain books on the Kindle already, sorted into collections based on who and what they are for (kids' history, kids' read alouds, mom's reading, and such).  OK so maybe many isn't the right word here as I only have about 30 books loaded on it.  But it feels like a lot of books to me.

So now I must ask for some suggestions.  I am in need of some new reading material for me personally.  Most of the books I have already on it I've read in the past and enjoyed, or they are the entire 6 volume series by Charlotte Mason (dry as heck).  I'm looking for new reading material.  I'm especially interested in books that may help me as a parent, wife, and/or homeschool parent, and total fluff (I rather enjoyed the Ann Rice books I've read in the past and plan to get a couple more).

What do YOU like to read on your Kindle?

Planning the new school year

Yes, I know its ONLY March.  However, it is that time that I like to look over where we are in each subject and start getting real solid ideas for next fall.  We typically call our first day of school officially at the very start of August, and I would *like* to take July off most lessons if possible so that we can enjoy some street fairs and summer weather.  July is the month that is usually slowest for Scott at work, so we get to spend more time together as a family before it picks up again in August with all the kids getting glasses for school to start (in case you don't know, Scott makes eyeglasses for a living, a lot of his work is actually for children on Medicaid in a few different states).  So, during his hours off work we do field trips on weekends and go on picnics and stuff like that.  It is something we always look forward to, even if the paychecks are barely enough to cover our bills during the slower season.

So, I'm looking now and figuring out fall, mainly to ease the amount of work I have to do when Scott is at work less.  If I plan now, then it is ready to go before he's no longer working 70 hour weeks (that's the busier times, during summer he gets 45 hours a week if we're lucky).  So here's what we have figured out so far.

This fall I will have an infant still, which I hear that the infant year is easiest to do this.  I've never schooled kids with an infant, Missa didn't start K until Jojo was a year old, so this is a new experience for us.  I'm learning as we go with it.  Anyway, this fall I will also have all 4 girls going formally.  Jojo will be of K age by cutoff date, so we will begin K with her and plan to stretch it out over 2 years on paper for maturity.  So she will be a Junior K and then her sisters will be in grades 1, 3, and 4.  Sounds fun, don't you think?  Lots of juggling, and not a lot of independent work with a couple of them.

So, here's what IS working for us this year, which will follow us into next year:

Math-U-See (I will have to get only 2 workbooks, the middle girls went slower than expected this year)
All About Spelling (Missa is working her speed and Liddy will start level 1)
Real Science 4 Kids (not finished with the books we got for this year so we'll finish them up and go into some unit studies)

That right there takes care of half my requirements easily.  Now for the fun part.  What didn't work so well, or what we're changing out of necessity because it just is a bad fit for our situation with all the kids going at once.

The biggest change for us will be that we are taking a year off Sonlight.  I'm feeling a need to spend a year doing geography and some US history and state studies, so I'm working out the kinks in this one now.  I already have "Geography Songs" that we are going to do to cover the basic geography stuff, from our Sonlight core (one of the things we got then dropped early on because of the pregnancy when I started lightening my load in teaching back in I think October).  I also have some free domain books on my Kindle that we will utilize, as well as 11th grade A Beka US History to refresh my own memory before I start working this out.  I will need to use as many free resources as possible to cover this year's history, we just don't have the money to buy all the consumables I need for 4 kids AND the US history program I was originally wanting (I had originally decided on Winter Promise American Story 1 for this fall, then Scott had to get a car and we decided on one about $1500 more than we planned so my homeschool budget went down from $1200 to $300 and I spent part of that on a Kindle).

I also am dropping Handwriting Without Tears, and getting a couple of dry-erase handwriting practice books they have at a store here locally.  This year, I simply cannot afford to buy handwriting workbooks for all 4 kids to go through as fast as they do, so they will use the dry-erase variety and take turns practicing.  I also am going back to regular copywork instead of the copywork and journaling books we did this year, also because of cost.  Thankfully, I only need to buy 2 math workbooks for Missa and Jojo to do this fall, and a friend blessed us with the teaching materials for all the Math-U-See levels we didn't have up to Algebra 1 so I am set there for several years.

And that's about all I figured out so far.  I am hoping to make it to the CHEO convention in June this year, but I'm not sure I can do it with the cost for the person we have do our portfolio reviews for reporting.

Pictures!!!!!

I mentioned EARLY this morning that we had pictures today, and here are a couple from that session.  PJ was not in the mood to cooperate too much, that child has a one-track mind and only wants to be feeding if he's awake still.  But we got some great shots I think. :)

I am definitely enjoying having a little boy too much obviously.  I loved getting to pick out his first little man outfit for today, and I do think he looks amazingly handsome in it.  Even Scott had to agree that he looked good for pictures.  I just wish I had been able to get his outfit in a newborn size instead of 0-3 month, it was a little big on him.  Oh well, just means he can wear it a little longer before he outgrows it.

what a busy week!

I'm waiting for the van to warm up now so I can make a run to pick up some clothes for the kids for today, so this will be short.  I hope. lol

Monday was supposed to be my due date, and instead I had a 2 1/2 week old baby boy in my arms.  Loving it by the way, he is bringing a whole new level of joy to our home, one that only a new baby can bring.  For the first time, I don't feel like there's someone missing here.  Yes, I do have moments where I think that a few more babies would be nice, but that is something that we're not even considering right now.  We are too busy enjoying this little man.

Tuesday, PJ had his 2 week checkup AND it was our wedding anniversary.  Yup, 8 years married now, and this July we'll have been together officially for 10 years.  What an amazing feeling THAT is.  Anyway, PJ was 2 ounces below his birth weight and a full inch bigger.  That puts him in the 50th for height and the 25th for weight and his head measurement.  Looks like he's got my build.  He goes back in uhhhh mid April I think, I have to look and see first.

Wednesday I saw the midwife about my blood pressure issues I had.  I'm still on the meds to control it, and its at the higher end of the normal range now.  She and I had a nice long discussion about how those last weeks of my pregnancy went and what the future could hold for me if we have another baby.  She also made it clear that my long term recovery will be a better indicator of the blood pressure issues and that at this point she won't say whether or not it would be a good/bad idea to have more because its not that long after birth.  I go back to her again in April for my official 6 week checkup and to re-evaluate the pre-eclampsia.

Then Thursday we hung out at home and I prepped diapers.  I forgot how much work prefolds can be to get ready for use. :)  But they are all washed and ready to go now.

And today, we have PJs first pictures.  Which means, I need to leave now to get 4 girls dresses and a boy a little outfit.  I'll share pictures later when we have them.

PJ at 11 days old

Yup, I think he's fitting in our home nicely here..........  He actually likes this style of sling better than the Moby wrap I have, so here soon I have to buy a sling that isn't quite so girly to wear him in public since we don't own a stroller (and have no plans to buy one either, I have an umbrella stroller we'll use with him when he's older but none that will work with him right now at this size that will lay down flat for him).

math headaches

As you know, I have a lot of fun with teaching Missa sometimes.  She is stubborn just like I am, and we butt heads regularly.  I had tried passing math to Scott to do with her, but his approach doesn't actually teach her how to do the work.  It only taught her how to be lazy and mess around until he gives her the answer and tells her how to do the problem.  I make her actually DO the work herself, and keep trying when she makes simple mistakes where I know she knows what she's doing.  I'm talking a problem like 62+16, she'll just randomly say that the answer is 91 and then when I send her to redo the computation she'll put 92, then 90, then 93, and so on every time in hopes that I'll give up and tell her the answer.  That was one of today's math problems, by the way, one that she just threw down answers on to get out of the work.  She's capable, she knows how to do the work.  I sent her back to recheck her computation on that problem (and 3 others) four different times before she started screaming at me about it.

Time out, kid.  Get on your bed.

She detests actually putting forth a little effort in math.  Of course it is difficult, she doesn't take her time with each problem.  She did so well in math before, even when I moved her up to Beta in October.  But I've noticed that the last 6 weeks or so, she's become increasingly resistant to doing the work.  She has balked at it, ignoring me when I say it is time for math, she's smarting off, screaming at me, not even trying to do the work, and doing everything she can to get out of it.  And every day, math gets interrupted by my having to send her off to cool down on her bed for a little bit so she can regroup and focus on the couple problems that she keeps butting heads with me on.

These are the moments that make me want to bang my head on the brick walls in our home and just scream.  These are the moments that lead to me fantasizing about enrolling them all in the local public school and saying forget it.  These are the moments that make me feel most like a failure as a mom because my child won't listen to me.  I know they are hard on Missa too.  She gets all worked up and flustered, then starts to scream and freak out which makes me yell back.  She pulls every excuse she can out of the bag, from trying to use her dyslexia to get out of it to saying its because she's not a Peterman like everyone else so she doesn't get it as fast to anything else she can think of.  She manipulates, ot ay least tries to, and I smack down those attempts as fast as she makes them.

She will make a great politician one day, if we can get her through school and college..........

today

So here it is, 10 days after we welcomed little PJ into our family.  He's a great baby, one of the easiest I've had so far.  Sleeps great at night (6 hour stretch already!) and nursing like a champ.  We had a few hangups with my milk not coming in right away, it took a full week before I was producing enough to completely stop supplementing with an ounce or two of formula a few times daily.  But now we are settled there too.  He has a birth mark on his forehead, right between his eyebrows, that we originally had thought was just bruising from how fast he was born but now I see it as a birth mark as he lightens up and the jaundice resolves.  It is getting darker as his skin lightens, and it is kind of in the shape of a capital U or V.  Once he's fully to the pale he will end up being, I'll get a good picture of it to show you what I mean.

But today is another day.  Today is the day that I was originally scheduled to be induced because of my blood pressure.  And instead, here I sit with my baby in my arms, sleeping happily after a heck of a good feeding while I get my computer stuff done for the morning before kids get up to start our day.  It is a strange feeling, knowing that today I was supposed to be induced when he's laying here in my lap, but I'm ok with that right now.

But for the rest of today, I have some goals.  It appears that the weather is going to be tolerably decent as far as temperature and such, so I'm thinking that today I may see if I can recruit the girls to help me with a little outdoor spring cleaning.  We have some toys laying around in the yard, and leaves still out back from fall that need raked up, so I'm going to try and bribe with cookie making to get that done.  I also have to get Missa finished up with her math lesson and taking her test today, and Liddy has a unit test to take today.  If Liddy does well with that test and is open to it, we'll also start her on her new lesson so that I don't have 2 kids starting a lesson tomorrow.  Ummmm, what else?  Oh yeah, I have to portion out meat into meal size packs for the freezer today, and our usual daily chores.  And perhaps we'll get to some extra schoolwork, I may attempt to add in history lessons this week if I am feeling up to it.  Or maybe we'll just do another week of the R's while I figure out how to do all this stuff in my life one-handed, PJ isn't loving the Moby wrap as much as his sisters did right now so I have to keep an arm available for him at all times.  Maybe when his umbilical stump falls off and finishes healing fully he will like it better, or he'll like the ring sling that I am planning to buy in the next few weeks.

Oh, and I have to find something that I can use as a diaper pail until I manage to remember to buy myself a small trash can to use, I'm sick of the smell of dirty/wet disposable diapers in my house.  I have my very small set of diapers and covers all washed and ready, so now I need to use the silly things.  I'm hoping to get that going today too.  I can't wait to see how cute his booty will be all fluffed up from his diapers!

Yup, that covers my day I think.  I'll come back tonight hopefully with a positive progress report on how we did here with that list.  Hopefully I have a positive report for you on this one.

Woah, what a weekend lol

So, we had a VERY eventful weekend here.  Scott, being the awesome guy he is, called in late to work on Friday and watched the kids while I went to my midwife appointment.  I knew it was going to be an interesting day when Erica told me that my blood pressure was too high and my protein had more than doubled in my 24hr test so I needed to go to the hospital for monitoring, testing, and to be induced the next day.  So, I went home and got the family so that Scott could drop me off on his way to taking the kids to his mom's before hanging with me at the hospital.

I got there and all hooked up at 9am to the monitors, where they picked up mild contractions and got my blood pressure back down again with laying me down.  2pm came and they decided to keep me another 2 hours just to see what was going on, and the monitor decided to stop picking up my random contractions at that point.  When they checked me at 4pm, they had to RUN to get a delivery room ready and call in the midwife, I was ready to have a baby.  Oops...... lol  So, at 5:05pm on Friday, February 17th we had a baby.  I wanted an epidural, instead I got some Nubain after he came because I was really sore.  Oh, and I kicked the midwife in the chest in the process, and didn't get both doses of antibiotics so they had to keep us 48hrs to watch for Strep B in the baby.  It was by far my fastest, easiest, and least painful birth, even with him being posterior.  And yes, I was pissed that I didn't get an epidural at that moment when I had to push him out and feel every bit of that pain, but now I'm really happy I didn't get it because I am moving so much easier than I did after Jordan (the only epidural I did have before, I had planned on it mainly because it can lower blood pressure and I wanted to increase my chances of keeping it down).

Then Saturday we watched as my blood pressure started going up again. *sigh*  Yup, the pre-eclampsia didn't resolve itself with delivery.  I was put on blood pressure meds to bring it back down once it hit 154/109 at 11pm.  They are working though, so I was released with a prescription and orders to get checked again in 2 weeks to see how its going.

Yeah, you could say this weekend was eventful.........  Welcome to the world, Scott Preston Jr.

8lbs 1oz, just shy of 20" long, and already spoiled rotten lol  Not a bad size at all for being born at 37  1/2 weeks, he came a full 10 days before we had planned to induce for safety with the blood pressure issues I was having.  And yes, I made it a total of 3 hours after coming home before I grabbed the Moby Wrap and tied him to my chest so I could take care of a few things easier.  I have a bit of a headache on and off, and I get little spells of dizziness where my scalp starts tingling, but other than that I have the standard pains and discomforts of having just had a baby 2 days ago.  As soon as Scott gets the girls into bed here in a little bit, he's going to go pick up my blood pressure meds at the pharmacy for me.

Oh, and Scott's car has officially died now so we are down to just my van until the tax refund gets here and clears the bank so he can buy himself a used compact car to replace it.  I sure hope it comes soon, I don't like being stuck at home even if I did just have a baby and I have NO plans to go anywhere without him for several weeks.  He is taking a day or two off work here tomorrow, then in 2 weeks he has a full week vacation so I can schedule my appointments with the pediatrician and the midwife and WIC so I can go with just little man and Scott can watch the kids if I don't decide I'd rather he drive me to them.

the waiting game

Yup, that sums it up pretty much I think.  We're in a holding pattern here waiting on our little boy to arrive.  I've been having random signs for almost 2 weeks now that he will be coming soon, and it has me worn out and grumpy.  And since I'm a big believer in keeping your mouth shut if you don't have anything nice to say, I've been quiet here to avoid a huge long rant post about how I'm feeling.  I'm just tired of it now, and will leave it at that.

But on the plus side, my midwife has said that if I don't go into labor beforehand, she is going to induce me on Feb. 27th because of my blood pressure issues.  Of course, that is all provided that I manage to continue to stay fairly stable in that area and we don't have a major change that would require immediate delivery.  So this means that in 11 days at the most, we will have our first son join our family.  I hope we are all ready for this, I've not had any children at all in diapers for a year now, and it has been 4 1/2 years since I've had a newborn in my home.  Scott is hopefully planning to take time off work with FMLA for us to have some time together as a family and adjust to being a family of 7, and all the girls are beyond excited at the upcoming arrival of their new brother.  I, on the other hand, keep having dreams at night that involve my own anxieties about this upcoming change in our family size.  I need this to hurry up and happen so that I can just be thrown into the middle of all the chaos and have my sink or swim moment.

Oh, and the baby shower last weekend that Scott's family had for us was a total hit.  I got so many baby clothes and such that I don't know WHAT to think of it all.  I'm totally overwhelmed still by all the clothes and stuff we got, even though it has been washed and folded and is all ready to go.  I even have 90% of my bag packed for the hospital, minus a few little things I need to buy for myself (bathroom stuff, and I want a new robe and slippers), and the car seat is installed in the van and all ready to go thanks to a wonderful friend who is just as good as I am with that stuff.  Just need to buy a baby swing and some more cloth diapers, and I'll be good to go.

nervous for Friday

Friday morning is the growth scan to make sure that my blood pressure hasn't caused any issues with lil man's size and development.  I wish Scott could go with me for it, but we need him to stay at the house with the other kids.  I am worried that they will find something wrong and need to induce, especially knowing what my resting blood pressure has been running lately.

But in good news, my lab testing I did over the weekend came back good.  Protein is still elevated but holding steady from the last time, and my blood tests all came back within normal parameters.  I repeat them again this weekend.  Praise God for the little things!

34 weeks and great news

I had another visit to the midwife today.  A friend of mine brought her son over to play with my girls so I could go without the kids, just in case my blood pressure was acting up so I wouldn't have to deal with that on top of it all.  Anyway, I came home to a clean house (minor miracle, she actually got my kids to listen and help out) AND I had a good appointment too.

I gained 3 1/2lbs since my appointment last week, which isn't so great in my eyes, but hey I'm in the final weeks so I'm not surprised.  My blood pressure was completely normal for the first time in several weeks, AND I wasn't spilling protein when they did the dip.  I do have to repeat all the blood tests and the 24 hour collection again since my 24 hour results last week are higher than the week before, but today was a VERY good day for me with her.  She had a smile on her face when she came in, its been a while since I've seen her smile when she opens the door.

I decided to ask for information about permanent birth control options, as the first step in our decision about what to do after this baby comes.  We have no plans to make any decisions like that until he is at least 6 months old, however.  I'm too unstable emotionally to trust my own judgement at this point, and I don't want to have any regrets later if we choose to do something right now.  The only thing I do know is what we'll do while we wait to make a decision when I'm mentally stable again (yes, I've turned into a nutcase this time around, as usual, and I do anticipate that I'll end up on antidepressants after birth again as well).

So I go back next week for the routine tests and checkup that happens at 35 weeks *yuck* and I also get an ultrasound to check on our little boy's growth, placental function, fluid levels, and such.  With the issues I've had with my blood pressure, there is some concern that it may have affected his growth, blood flow, or placental function so they are going to take a look to double check that everything is good.  While we're looking, I'm going to ask if we can take another peek between his legs to be sure he's still a boy.  Yes, I'm still having a little trouble believing that he's a boy after having the 4 girls.  That is a surprise I do NOT want to have on delivery day.

Downside to next week?  My appointment is at 7am.  I'm NOT a morning person, getting up before 8am is really pushing it for me.  But I can do it, especially since Scott is pulling strings to get covered at work for a couple hours so he can go in late that day and watch the girls for me.  Yes, daddy will be the one dealing with breakfast that day, my poor kids.  I just hope that all goes well again next week, now that I'm in crunch time to baby.

FINALLY a homeschool update lol

Yes, I know I've not done much of that the last couple months, but we've also not done much for lessons lately either.  I will explain that one in my pregnancy update here in a minute.

So I was having a good day today with my blood pressure and symptoms, and decided to take advantage instead of taking it easy and trying to not overdo it.  I did a history lesson and a tie-in art lesson with the girls.  Now, I don't know if I mentioned this yet, but we have streamlined our history from doing a full Sonlight world history core to just reading "A Child's History Of The World" and doing whatever strikes our fancy to go with it as I feel up to it to finish this school year.  Simplified history here, so we could work with my limitations of the pregnancy and also be able to not miss much with a new baby and getting settled and adjusted to 5 kids.

Today's chapter was about Egyptian writing, also known as hieroglyphics.  Now, a couple years ago I went over this material with Missa when she was in 1st grade with OHVA, so it was review for her and new for her sisters.  I read the chapter, and we discussed the stuff that we read (lots more than JUST writing in there, it was also a good bit about Egyptian culture and gods/goddesses they worshipped, I'm going to do some searching later today for coloring pages and simple things to do tomorrow and the next day when I crash physically so they can continue with the culture and such with minimal work from me directly and I won't have to read to them too much hopefully).  I then remembered that we had some stuff hanging around from Missa's time in OHVA so I went to dig a minute.

I got out 3 pages that show the American English alphabet and the hieroglyph translations, and made a couple copies for the kids to use as a reference.  The project was simple.  Draw a simple self-portrait and write their first name (or nickname, in the case of the little girls) in hieroglyphs.  I paired them up so that the little girls each had a big girl to help, and then spent 45 minutes listening to Liddy throw a conniption fit because she couldn't draw her name out perfectly enough.  *sigh*  Yes, she is my motor delayed child, mostly we're caught up but she still has some issues there at times, but she is also a MAJOR perfectionist and drawing is the enemy with her most times.  She spent time cooling off and working out her fit in her room while Missa helped both little girls with theirs (this girl has a talent for hieroglyph drawing, she does rather well for an 8 year old I think).  Liddy and I came to an agreement that she would draw her picture and point out which hieroglyphs she needed for her name, and I would draw her name out for her.

Missa did better than I did at drawing names out.  But that is ok, hopefully Liddy will see that it is ok to not be perfect at everything and sometimes someone else is better than you at something.  We hung their portraits on the wall over the fireplace, and a copy of the pages for the "translation key" as a display of our work today.  I'll take pictures later and might share, if I feel up to it.

But 3 of the 4 girls thought it was an awesome fun project, and I found it really simple to come up with in a pinch.  I just wanted something to fill a little time after reading the history chapter just in case I needed to lay down because of my blood pressure.

snow day!

We got our first REAL snowfall last night overnight.  All of yesterday it rained, then it turned to snow around 8pm here.  Roads are covered in ice and snow, and they were shutting down portions of freeways in the area last night until the salt trucks could hit them to try and get rid of some of that ice on the roads.  As a result, many public and private schools in our area are on either a 2 hour delay, or closed completely.  Our district is one that decided to close for students.  So, technically it is a snow day here for the kids in my area.  For us, however, it is just another day.  We are sort of on a break from schoolwork until the baby comes, just doing a bit of work here and there as I feel able to stay up without my blood pressure acting up too much.

So now I get to decide, are we doing any lessons at all today or just enjoying the pretty snow from the window?  I think its just a little too cold right now to go play in it, and Kimi has a cough that sounds strangely like her coming down with a cold so I have to be extra careful right now for her sake.  Last thing I need on top of everything else is her to get seriously ill with bronchitis or something that could put her in the hospital while I'm at the tail end of my pregnancy.

pre-eclampsia

Yup, it sucks.  I am still doing the testing, but the OB that I saw yesterday for my appointment (yes, instead of the midwife, but that's ok I like this doctor, she's really nice and willing to talk to me about stuff openly and frankly) said chances are that is exactly what is going on.  So, there we have it.  I've danced with the vampire for a 4th time yesterday, and have more testing still to do. *sigh*  And here I was expecting a nice uneventful pregnancy for a 5th time.  Oh well, God knows what He is doing and everything will turn out as it is supposed to.

Now I just need to decide if I feel motivated enough to use the patterns I found over the weekend to make our little boy some footy pj's and such to wear.  Sewing calms me, but I'm not sure if it is going to be something I can do without my blood pressure going up too much.  Maybe I should go to a yarn store and get some yummy yarn to knit a blanket instead, that may be safer.  But then again, I really would like to make him a couple fleece overalls, some cute shirts, and some pjs with matching blankets.  The patterns I have are rather cute if I can just work up the motivation to dig through all my fabric.

Horray for 32 weeks

I've hit that last 8 weeks, and now I remember what it is I hate most about pregnancy.  These final weeks are not very fun, with the leaking from parts of my body that normally don't leak and the rib kicks, reflux so bad that we have decided the benefits outweigh the risks and I'm on Prevacid to control things, and now adding hypertension.  Yes, I was at the hospital last week again for my blood pressure, after a scary incident involving me blacking out while driving with the kids to go to the dentist, but we got it stabilized in the normal range again so I got tagged with pregnancy-induced hypertension and put on bedrest until my next appointment (tomorrow morning).

So obviously, I've had a rough go physically with this one compared to the girls.  But I still am really looking forward to meeting our little boy soon.  We decided to toss his name and revisit some other options for his name, and will decide when he is born what his name will be for sure.  He may still be Isaiah Preston, or something totally different.  This is the first time we've decided to just pick a few different first and middle names and pick the official name when baby is born, we always had a name chosen by this stage.  The kids are adjusting to calling him Booger again until he's born, and are excited to find out what his name will be.  I think Missa is again hoping that we'll consider her suggestion that we name him Moses.

We also finally got the crib set up in our room, after having it for ummmmm a few weeks or so.  Scott also got the recliner set by the crib with my filing cabinet by it for a temporary table, so I have a place for Booger to sleep and me to breastfeed and rock him comfortably with a place to put my drink at.  I'm hoping that this weekend one of us can get to the thrift store to find him a dresser, and that we can start buying him some clothes that he'll need.  We'll finish decorating his area of our room when we get the tax refund sometime in the next few months.

Yup, that about sums up my pregnancy and all I know right now.  I'll have more details and information about how I'm physically doing with it after I see the midwife at 11am tomorrow.  Scott is sick and we've discussed him taking tomorrow off to be sick in bed, so if he does then I'll be able to go alone and spend some serious time discussing what's going on and what our options are and a bunch of other things that I am concerned about.

New year, new plans

Well, its the start of a new year.  This is the time I usually look at what we've done so far during the school year and re-evaluate my goals to see what we need to do so that we can accomplish them for the school year.  Well, this year is no different for us, although I'm doing things a lot differently.

Math has gone really well for us.  My goal was to move at their paces and let things go how they do, with hopes to at least have Missa in Beta and then Liddy and Kimi working well through their books.  Well, goal met and all is going well, so no changes will be made there.

Handwriting is going well too.  In fact, better than anticipated.  Missa decided to start cursive in November, my plan was to have her start by February so she's ahead there.  Liddy is about to start her next book, which is also a bit ahead of schedule.  Kimi finished her book, which totally threw me off so I had to scramble to find something to fill in with until we can order the next book for her, and Jojo is going to finish up her book here probably by the end of this month.  So that is all going well.

Reading..... well Missa finished her first chapter book recently, so now we're waiting for the baby to be born so that we can take her to lunch and a movie like promised.  Liddy started one, and the little two are working nicely at it as well.  No complaints in this area at all, everyone is making forward progress in reading.

History..... yeah that.  I ended up dropping my Sonlight core completely for the most part, now we are just reading through "A Child's History of the World" a chapter 3 days a week minimum until we finish.  I don't have the ability now to do anything extra really, but that's ok because the girls, especially Missa, have been pulling the other history books off our shelf to look through in their free time and Scott is reading the read alouds from the core to them at night and on  weekends.  So its still working here, just not as written at ALL.

Science has been mostly abandoned.  We watch stuff on tv and talk about it.  That's about all we're going to do the rest of this school year I think in this area, unless Scott takes over this subject as well.

*****CONTINUED*****

Sorry, I had to take a break in mid-post because I started getting dizzy.  That happens a lot to me lately when I'm up more than just a few minutes at a time.

Anyway, my mid-year evaluation showed that we are doing pretty good in general here with lessons, even if we've not met a few goals in a couple subjects.  So, the plan for the rest of this school year is for me to take it easy and continue with the changes that we were forced to make and just keep up the pace we've set for now with things.  Then in August I will send in our notification for the new school year with the plan of moving on to US history.  That plan I'll talk about later on, after Isaiah is born next month.  But I do have a plan for it, and surprisingly it does not involve Sonlight at this point.  I am taking a different approach for a bit, after seeing the troubles we had this school year with the pregnancy and how I had to drop so much.  So stay tuned, and I'll share more later with you.

29 weeks and some minor problems

Its funny, I hate third trimester in case you've not figured this out yet.  But right now I'm sitting here thinking that I'd rather have my old third trimester complaints back after what this past week has given us.

About 10 days ago I commented to my husband that I needed to go to the eye doctor as soon as Isaiah is born because my vision in my right eye was blurring up on and off all day and that eye would twitch too.  I also started to have an increase in frequency and length of dizzy spells, and an on and off headache.  Now, if you know me then you know I am prone to migraines, which are coupled with a visual effect where one eye droops in the socket and twitches, and I run with low blood pressure, low sugar, and am mildly anemic so I also have dizzy spells for a few seconds when I get up or move too quickly.  So I don't typically notice stuff like this unless it is a big change from my normal pattern, and I never think to mention it to medical staff outside of initial medical history because it really ISN'T a symptom for me 99% of the time.

Well, Sunday was that 1% that my normal became my symptom.

I woke up feeling kind of off on Saturday, so I chose to rest and lay around the weekend as much as possible (including during a visit to take the kids to visit Scott's mom Saturday afternoon for a few hours, we were going to go to church afterward but opted not to as I wasn't feeling good).  Sunday brought a headache that would NOT go away without Tylenol (took the edge off it) and I fell asleep for a good 4 hours or so and my family had trouble waking me up.  I took a bath that evening, as I was feeling dizzy to the point that I worried I may fall in a shower, and ended up vomiting in the tub just as I was finishing up my bath because of the dizziness, light reflecting off the water, and the water made the dizziness visually harder to process.  So I did what any responsible pregnant woman would do.  I made a call to the after hours line to talk to the on-call OB in my midwife's practice.  He was a wonderful man by the way, and listened carefully to my description of symptoms and normal and my concerns.  He pretty much agreed that I needed to go up to the hospital to get checked out, which I was getting dressed and planning to go in even without his order.  I didn't feel right, something was wrong.

My blood pressure was high, and labs showed low potassium and a few other things that aren't too great.  However, urine test showed no protein, and my blood pressure wasn't *too* far above the normal range so they let me go home with a couple prescriptions for my reflux (to try and control it better because I'm still throwing up pretty much nonstop) and a potassium supplement.

Fast forward to this morning at 9am when I saw the midwife.  I peed in a cup and while washing my hands got hit with another dizzy spell.  Get back to the exam room and the nurse said I looked paler than when I went in, so she rechecked my blood pressure.  Sure enough, it was 149/91 which isn't *too* terribly high but still high enough for concern in third trimester.  Erica, my midwife, looked over my labs from the hospital and the urine test they did in office, and came in not looking happy at ALL.  I had to do a third blood pressure check, which came in at 125/79, and was told lay down, rest, do as little as possible, take my medication that I was given at the hospital, and if I'm not feeling any better in 2-3 days I am to call her and then go in to labor and delivery for more testing. *sigh*  And yes, my office pee test showed that I am indeed spilling protein into my urine, which is a BAD sign.

She's trying to AVOID diagnosing me with high blood pressure at this point, in case you can't tell.  And as for me, well I'm just trying to keep my blood pressure down in the normal range for most people (we won't aim for MY normal, my normal is in the 90/60 range).  I know all the risks and what we're looking at here as possible problems, and am doing everything I can to avoid that now.

I've already decided that if I end up in the hospital with this pregnancy for blood pressure issues, we're getting my tubes tied.  I'm NOT doing this again, I have now 5 beautiful children to think of first and to have a complicated pregnancy with a 6th child is not something that I feel is worth the risks to my family.  We may have some difficult decisions to make this next few days and weeks, depending on my blood pressure, and I do have to put my children first here.  I would love more children, but honestly if we have to stop then that is fine because if we are meant to have more God will either resolve these issues I'm having now or He will provide us with the means to adopt later.

random musing

I thought I was expecting a male human baby....... Instead it feels like I have either an alien or an octopus growing in there.  Or, maybe an octopus and an alien mated and then the resulting offspring was implanted in me.  I have a power kicker, he LOVES to move around and make my entire belly shake.  Sometimes it is adorable and fun to watch and feel, but after a bit it starts to become painful for me with every movement.  Ahhh but it is only another 12 weeks or so that I have to deal with this discomfort, and it is a sign that he's got a good strong body.  Yes, that's it.  I need to see the blessing of a healthy baby instead of focusing on the fact that it can be physically painful when he moves around.

and we have a crib!

Yesterday I got a call from a friend of mine.  She had offered her daughter's crib to us several months ago, once she got her little girl into a regular bed.  Well, she was taking apart the crib and had it ready for us to pick up, and a few other things we were welcome to if we wanted them.  So I arranged for us to go over last night, meeting Scott at her apartment, so we could pick the stuff up.  I now have a crib and mattress for Isaiah, and today the girls and I will start getting things ready in my bedroom for Scott to move furniture around to  make room for the crib and baby stuff.  Once we get all that done, Isaiah will have a place to sleep at least.  We just need more clothes and some diapers now, and we'll have all the basics we need for a newborn.  Just a small step, but it is a forward one at least.

dressing a bunch of kids for less

I thought I'd share a few thoughts on this topic.  I know it is one that gets a lot of people scratching their heads, especially if you are looking at a family with several children of one gender.  Clothes aren't cheap, especially if you want good quality.  And when you have four daughters with very different tastes in colors, styles, and even different body shapes, you can quickly go broke trying to work with it all.

If you have ventured into the girls' clothing department, you will see a variety of styles and looks.  Skinny jeans, boot-cut pants, and many others.  Low rise, ultra low rise, classic high rise.  Stretchy and relaxed fits.  And let's not get into sizing.  Along with numbered sizing in the girls' deparment, you have slim, regular, and plus size, with or without adjustable waistbands to make them skinnier if needed and/or desired.  There are so many options it can confuse anyone who doesn't have some idea of what they are doing before they go to the store.  Shirts, skirts, and dresses have the same issue.  Asymmetrical cuts, peasant style tops, spaghetti straps, one shoulder or two, empire waists, baydoll cuts.  Embellishments, silk-screen prints, embroidery.  One can QUICKLY lose themselves in a sea of fashion just walking into the girls' department at any department store.  I should know, I've even become overwhelmed.

Often, fashions in department stores don't even fit our rules for modesty and appropriate attire for the ages of our daughters.  I'm not a fan of skinny jeans and jeggings, especially with the way the local teen girls pour themselves into these pants.  We have a rule that shirts must cover stomachs when both arms are lifted above the girl's head, so that eliminates a good number of styles that are meant to skim the waistband of their jeans.  I also am not a fan of clingier clothing, especially as Missa has started developing a figure at the young age of 8 1/2.  These guidelines are fairly conservative in general, but also liberal at the same time.  I know families who take this further by not allowing tops with lace, designs, or certain necklines (we have rules on the neckline as well, but the girls also know how to layer a camisole under low-cut tops).  We also aren't too big on 2 piece swim suits, but have come to accept that this just isn't possible so we try to stick to tank-style swimwear with the swim skirt bottoms to increase coverage a bit.  Even I wear a tankini with skirt bottom, but I think I have fat thighs and that makes me feel better about how I look in a bikini.

So, how does one find conservative attire for young ladies?  Well, many of the more upscale stores in Columbus have appropriate clothing, or we can purchase some things online.  I have trouble sometimes with finding acceptable stuff in local department stores.  But going to the upscale stores can break our budget with four girls to clothe, even with the increase in quality that usually makes these items more durable and more likely to hold up to the rough and tumble of the girls so that they actually can pass clothes down to younger sisters.  So, our options are limited a bit.  I can either compromise on my general guidelines for how they dress and allow them trashier clothing, or I can shop secondhand at thrift stores.  I choose to go with thrift stores.

My husband works near a VERY large Salvation Army thrift store, and once in a while will go there to get the girls jumpers, dresses, and pants.  Tonight was one of those shopping nights.  He got 5 pairs of jeans, 2 jumpers, a doll, and a lunch bag with thermos (for his lunches) for $26 there tonight.  Our goal was pants for the oldest 2 girls, as Missa has recently had a bit of a figure development spurt and outgrew most of her slim fit jeans in the waist (and torn out her gym pants in a couple of inappropriate places).  Three of those jeans are just for her, and the other two are for Liddy.  One jumper for each of the two, and they now have a bare bones starting wardrobe for winter that I can add to a little at a time.  Liddy has inhereted some jeans that Missa no longer can fit into, so she's pretty much taken care of, but Missa can wear these few items while I pick up a pair of quality jeans every paycheck until we get her enough to really work well.  Granted, the thrift store jeans won't likely last more than a few months before she tears them out in a couple specific spots, but I should be able to replace them in that time with some jeans from Old Navy or Gap easily enough.  And I have enough left over from Scott's shopping trip tonight that I can go to the thrift stores here locally over the weekend to find some shirts for her, and possibly pick up a couple new undergarments that she now needs.

I plan to do the same thing with Isaiah's wardrobe.  I have a few new things, but the bulk of his infant clothing will likely come from thrift stores and other similar sources.  Although, I did manage to get an adorable little 0-3 month size camo zip-up hooded sweatshirt for under $4 brand new.  I am excited about that purchase, and look forward to getting to the thrift store for the rest of his clothes that he'll need.

dishonesty and natural consequences

Lately, dishonesty has been a big issue here in my home.  We've had kids sneaking around, getting into craft supplies and food items and using/eating them up without telling us.  Now, I don't restrict these items too much, but I do require that they ask beforehand so that I can at least keep tabs on what we've got available.  Its a practical thing here, we are on a budget and I carefully plan meals and activities for the family.  If something is eaten and I'm not told, then I cannot adapt my menu accordingly.  Same with a craft or activity, if someone takes off with the glitter glue and uses it up without telling me they are using it then I may plan a craft using it and then not have something for them to do during that craft time because I'm missing supplies.  This is just basic common sense I think, yet the girls are having difficulty with remembering this one rule that we have.

It is very rare that I will say no to something, and that is usually because what they want is either out of our normal budget (requiring us to save up for it or specially budget for just enough with no extra, like certain fresh fruits that may be out of season) or it is not an item they need to eat (seriously, who sits and eats a stick of butter or a package of cream cheese or a boxed cake mix? yuck!).  I don't think I'm being unrealistic here, just ask so that I know what you are taking and I can see what's left when you are done.  I do 95% of my discipline for breaking this one rule, and usually in conjunction with lying about it afterward.  The other 5% of discipline is for unkind words and actions, so obviously I'm doing something right if I'm not frequently breaking up fist fights or correcting unkind words.

So back to the taking things without asking first and dishonesty afterward issue.  I am trying to come up with a series of good natural consequences for not asking before they help themselves, and for a series of consequences for when they try to cover it up with lying.  The current offense involves Liddy and a craft kit that I had purchased.  It is just a simple sun catcher painting kit, it has 12 sun catchers that the girls paint and then they can hang up.  I bought this a long time ago and hid it on a shelf, then promptly forgot about it until Scott found it on Sunday while he cleaned up those shelves.  I've had it at least a year and a half I think.  Anyway, I had this great idea for it.  Since we don't have any ornaments for the tree (every year we buy the shatterproof bulbs, and every year the kids manage to break every single one) this year we are doing homemade ornaments.  I thought, in a moment of brilliance, that maybe the girls would like to spend a Saturday with daddy in the kitchen with its wood laminate floor (read: EASY TO CLEAN UP MESSES) painting sun catchers while I am out grocery shopping and running errands this upcoming weekend.  He agreed that it sounded like something he could manage on his own, and that it would be a great way to distract the girls while I leave to go shopping (there's always a fit from at least one kid because she thinks she must go EVERYWHERE with me and she never lets me out of her sight, we are working on this and she's starting to get better about it though).  Well, apparently Liddy decided that she didn't have to wait, so yesterday she snuck into our room, got it out, and started painting one of the sun catchers.  She spilled all the purple paint on her pants and managed to get the teddy bear one she was working on half finished before she heard us and hustled to put the stuff back in the box, not in the spot Scott put it, and ran to hide the sun catcher under her bed.  I discovered the damaged kit this morning when I went to get the box of Christmas cards out to mail off another one to a person who had sent us one.  She first lied about it, and then when I threatened to put the tree up and no Christmas at all she came clean and then went to get the one she had painted and the pants she had spilled paint on to give to me.

Natural consequence for her actions?  Well, since the timing coincides with payday weekend, I can go purchase some paint to replace what she spilled (which I need to buy all colors anyway as those kits don't come with enough paint, nor enough brushes for more than one kid).  So her sisters still get to do the craft without much issue.  However, I'm debating if she should be allowed to participate in the activity with her sisters because she decided that she did not need to wait and went sneaking off to do it herself.  I am giving her an opportunity to show us that she has some self control to earn the ability to do the activity this weekend.  So far, she's not very receptive to this, as it requires her to actually DO her chores instead of whining until one of her sisters does them for her to shut her up.  She is actually quite intelligent and a good planner when it comes to getting out of doing her chores, I'm rather impressed by it at times (but mostly I'm annoyed and she ends up in trouble for it, giving me most of the 5% of discipline that isn't for not asking before they take stuff and lying about it).  We have solved many of our past discipline issues through similar natural consequences methods, including the girls' regularly having a chronic case of disrespect and the gimme's whenever I took them shopping (that stopped after I picked up the little two and my purse and walked straight out of the store with the oldest 2 hanging off me and all 4 screaming bloody murder because I left without buying the treat they were going to get that trip, then followed it up with a few months of not taking them out at all except to doctor appointments and other REQUIRED things with no field trips or shopping trips at all), so I would like to implement a natural consequence method for this case.  I had a child recently eat half a stick of butter (go ahead and gag, I can wait) and as a result, I ran out of butter and had to make their macaroni and cheese without it one day.  The only thing that makes cheapo store-brand generic mac and cheese taste tolerable is the butter in it, so their lunch that day was NOT something they enjoyed and they ate just enough to not starve until dinner that night.  We are slowly making progress on the food-eating aspect of this, but still have a long way to go.

pregnancy- coming up on 3rd trimester

So, on Monday I will be 27 weeks pregnant.  Technically, this is that border between 2nd and 3rd trimester.  However, the discomforts are starting now.  I am NEVER a happy pregnant woman, and my favorite part of pregnancy quite honestly has always been when I go into labor.  I have an irritable uterus, so I start dilating early and have contractions.  My babies like to sit in a bad position and cause me all kinds of fun pains shooting down my legs and through my hip and backside.  I feel like I'm sitting on a bowling ball pretty much all the time, and it feels like my stomach is going to tear open at any moment.  Yes, I do *not* take kindly to third trimester at all.  I know that there are those who see this time as a blessing, but honestly I see it as something to tolerate until I can have my sweet baby in my arms finally.  Yes, pregnancy is a miracle, I do see that, and it is a special gift, however its not one I particularly enjoy most of the time.

So, if I'm not very good at updating my blog for the next few months, know that it is purely because I'm grumpy and starting to get fed up with the discomforts I get to enjoy for the next 13 weeks or so until I deliver.  I'll try to post about what the kids and I are doing with lessons, and be positive about the pregnancy right now, but really I am not posting much for a while.  After all, if you don't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all.  Am I right?

So, here's a happy little blip for the pregnancy.  We have officially purchased baby Isaiah's outfit that he will wear home.  I even have a picture to share.

I still need to add socks and a hat to it, but it is adorable, don't you think?  We are anticipating that he will be around 8 1/2 to 9lbs at birth, so we are completely skipping all newborn sized clothing.  This one we went straight into Carter's size 3 month clothing, I got the outfit on sale for $12 and the little soft crib shoes for $4.  My mom says that she got some socks and newborn mittens that match it, and will send those up with the Christmas gifts this year, so I just need a hat and blanket really to complete the outfit.  I sure hope that ultrasound was right since we now have the official homecoming outfit.  Next I plan to install the car seat this weekend, before I get too big an uncomfortable to do it easily AND before the winter weather starts so that I know we are covered at least (if we don't buy an infant seat between now and birth, that is! Then we'll get the van into the garage and Scott will install it instead for me) and we have some cleaning and rearranging to do in our bedroom to make room for the little guy.

Prayer request for a friend

I don't do this kind of post here, but I'm going to today.  I'm a little behind in reading the blogs I follow, and I feel bad for not keeping up better with some.  Especially the one that I'm about to link with here.  I know I don't have much of a following for this blog, but I fully believe in ripples spreading and hope that this happens a bit here.

A dear fellow homeschooling mom of 6 is expecting baby #7, a little boy.  She's had complications because her sweet boy has Spina Bifida, and as a way of processing she has started a blog to write about her journey through this.  Please keep her family in your prayers, especially for comfort and peace through the times they are facing in the very near future.  Here is a link to her latest post on the blog she's started just for this baby boy and their journey.

http://masonsbjournal.blogspot.com/2011/11/dumb-ob-and-dreaded-hydrocephalus.html

Also, if you can keep my friend Shauna and her little girl, Charlie, in your prayers as they walk through some decisions regarding decisions she has to make about her little girl's care.  I can't imagine how difficult this decision must be for her, and I pray that she can find calm and peace through her own decision-making process as well.

Both of these women inspire me, and I look to them regularly for inspiration when my own struggles start getting me down.  They are incredible women, with a great deal of strength to walk through their lives and the struggles they both face.  I pray for them both daily, and now they need more prayer from others.  Please, take a moment to lift both these lovely ladies up to our Lord for strength, knowledge, healing, comfort, and support in their times of need.

Thanksgiving here

We had our dinner yesterday, as did many families across the country.  I personally love to cook, so I make holiday meals a rather large affair.  I tend to cook in large quantities normally, as I'm feeding a family of soon to be 7 and we all have big appetites and high metabolisms, so I have some pretty big pans hanging around for mealtimes.


This year, we had invited a few friends and relatives over to join us, but as usual nobody wanted to be bothered to celebrate with us so we had our meal just the 6 of us.  I still cooked for 30 diners, however, to make sure I had some leftovers for simpler suppers this week.  I had both a turkey AND a ham, 2 different types of stuffing, homemade cranberry sauce, about 60 dinner rolls, candied sweet potatoes, candied carrots, my stand mixer bowl FILLED with mashed potatoes, and 2 pies with whipped cream.  I'm sure I missed a few things that were on our menu, I cooked a LOT of food.  I have left a bit of potatoes, some cranberry sauce, about half the meat, and a pie.  Oh, and some of the rolls of course, although they may be almost gone now with the kids snacking on them all day (I made 3 loaves of bread dough into rolls, filled my steam table pan).

Overall, it was a nice quiet day and I enjoyed cooking.  I started at 9am by making the pies, and just kept up a nice leisurely pace with it and we ate at about 5pm.  I didn't run around crazy with cooking, the kids helped with different parts of the meal, and we had a lot of fun together as a family.  The kids made hand turkeys (that's a simple activity, they trace the outline of an open hand on paper and then decorate it with the thumb as the turkey's head, fingers as his tail feathers, add legs and wings, then decorate a background) and we watched the Macy's parade on tv and other Thanksgiving and Christmas-themed shows and movies.  Scott took Jojo to the store while I was baking the pies to pick up the ham that he insisted on, which I thought was funny that he wanted one that badly on top of the other food I made.  It was a nice day, and a wonderful opportunity for us to be together as a family.  I treasure every opportunity to go nuts in the kitchen to make an amazing meal for my family, and spend the day just quietly enjoying our day and vegging out like we did yesterday.  Normally my family is so busy with doctor appointments, Scott working, homeschool lessons, shopping trips, errands, housework, and all that other stuff that we don't really take much time to spend together like that.  I do believe its time for us to make it more of a priority to spend time quietly enjoying ourselves as a family, not rushing around and doing everything that needs done with this life in the fast lane.

defeating the mom guilt

I'm sure that anyone who has a child who has differences struggles with this from time to time.  Right now, I am struggling with it.  I have a child with *mild* health problems, and another with learning challenges.  It has been an interesting month for me here so far, with Missa trying to get out of doing her math and reading because it is difficult with her dyslexia, and then last week Kimi's breathing started acting up on us.

With Missa and her differences, we've understandably had to figure out EVERYTHING for schooling so that she could learn effectively without having too many issues with retaining the material.  Traditional curricula doesn't always work with her, and I've had to search for just the right fit in each subject or come up with something on my own that will work with her.  Thankfully, her sisters are all more typical learners, and the materials that work for Missa work beautifully with her sisters as well because they embrace multiple learning styles at once (we like multi-sensory approaches that use auditory and visual methods along with manipulatives and hands-on activities).  But I still feel guilty sometimes over her difference in learning.  My mother doesn't help any with this guilt, she told me once that dyslexia and other learning disabilities are either lazy parenting/teaching/learning or caused by not picking one program and sticking to it 100% (changing styles because one approach doesn't work, which is something a LOT of homeschoolers do).  She knows that I went through several programs in each subject before finding something that would work well with Missa, and knew it even back when she said that to me.  My mother-in-law also doesn't help much either, although her latest comment could be taken as a compliment I think.  She's trying to convince Missa currently that she doesn't have dyslexia because "you read just fine honey."  The last time the girls were over with her, she watched them for a few hours so Scott and I could go to lunch and Babies R Us without having to deal with all the hassle of keeping 4 kids occupied and happy (meaning I got a meal I LOVED and don't get often at our favorite restaurant, and I got to casually browse all the different areas and get ideas for our nursery and baby boy at the store without being rushed).  She doesn't approve of homeschooling, so she quizzes the kids every chance she gets.  She tested their reading that day, and decided that they are all doing really well despite not going to a real school and having mommy insisting on playing schoolteacher instead of growing up and coming to her senses about it (yeah we've gone around about this in the past, I'm no longer allowed to discuss it with her per Scott's instruction).  Now, last school year I had mono for 6 months, and the ONLY thing I did with her and her sisters was reading.  I read to them, they read to me, we listened to audio books, we watched movies and tv shows with the closed-captioning on.  Missa jumped during that time from a late K level in reading to now being able to read at a mid to late 4th grade level.  She's in 3rd grade.  That's something to be proud of, and you KNOW I'm proud of her for working so hard.  She's reading the books from our history core (well some of the easier ones, currently she's slowly working through the Usborne Greek Myths book) and she's enjoying reading for fun AND for learning.  That was my goal for last school year and this year, now I need to set a new goal for her learning lol

Then there's Kimi's breathing.  She has asthma, and was diagnosed a couple years ago.  Again, my mom said that I caused it by giving her an inhaler under doctor orders when she had yet another case of bronchitis.  For over 2 years I've struggled with this one before I finally decided that my mother has no clue what the hell she's talking about and I've stopped listening to 99% of what she thinks about stuff (she also told me this week that at 24 weeks pregnant, I've gained too much weight and that I'm fat, I gained 12lbs and am thrilled with it, I think she's spent too long on her diet and has lost touch with reality).  Anyway, this past week Kimi has had a major flare-up with her asthma and I've had a hard time getting it back under control again.  I had her at the pediatrician's office during their walk-in clinic hours on Saturday (Scott had been taking the van to work after blowing out a tire in his car, we had to wait for payday to replace it, so I had no way to get them to the doctor until then) and her asthma didn't disappoint us.  She had an attack in the waiting room, and it sent the nurse AND the doctor both running to stabilize her again.  We left with a nebulizer and a bunch of medications to get her back in check again.  This morning she finished her round of Prednisone, so now she's down to just her 2 daily meds (one pill and one breathing treatment) and her albuterol breathing treatments as needed.  Yesterday she didn't need any albuterol at all, which was a first in the last week and a half.  I think we are starting to get a handle on it again.

But fighting mom guilt is hard.  I feel guilt daily when Missa struggles with her schoolwork, wondering if my mom may be right and I did cause her learning differences by switching around programs so much before we settled last school year on the materials that we are using now.  I struggle now especially with the what-ifs and wonder if my pushing for a low-intervention birth with Kimi could have caused all her breathing problems.  She was diagnosed with severe meconium aspiration syndrome at birth and needed deep suctioning to get all the meconium from her airways, and has been rattly and suffered with breathing problems from the start.  I catch myself several times daily thinking that if only I had agreed to Pitocin in my IV and allowed them to break my water before we did, maybe we could have prevented it from happening.

Yup, the mommy guilt monster stinks.  I know none of these challenges are my fault, but still I blame myself because I'm mom.  The last thing that any parent wants is to have a child with any special needs, and when it does happen we struggle with blaming ourselves over things that are out of our control.  I see my girls, all of them, as unique special blessings from God, and would never trade any of them for another child, nor would I ever wish that any of them were different than they are now.  Yet, I still struggle with the nagging guilt that plagues moms everywhere over everything.  I may not have a child who is non-mobile with a feeding tube or one with a severe birth defect, but I still fight with the guilt every day.  I look at my friends who have children with more needs than my girls have, and know how blessed I am.  I also see them as a source of inspiration.  I look up to those moms, knowing that their burden is so much bigger while they go through life with grace and strength that I have not yet found.  I see what I need to find in them, and pray that I can find it soon.  Especially now that I've entered a stage where I'm too paranoid to leave the nebulizer at home even just to take my kids to Pizza Hut for their monthly Book-It coupon pizzas (and I plan to tote it with us here shortly for a trip to the grocery store, hey its raining right now and a chill could trigger an attack, but not going isn't an option as I'm out of a few things that we need for supper tonight).

Nice try kids......

Nothing bugs me more than the kids wasting my time.  They just wasted an hour of my time, by hiding needed supplies for math when I was resting on the sofa (I fell asleep).  They spent an hour pretending to search for the hidden supplies, then another 20 minutes insisting that the pencil sharpener isn't in the cabinet, before I finally got fed up and went straight to their hiding spots and extracted the hidden supplies and spent 20 seconds looking at the cabinet to locate the pencil sharpener.

I think this calls for a few extra pages of math, and some extra chores.  They waste 1:20 of my life, I will take away free time to make up for it.  I'm thinking they can lose 2 minutes for every 1 minute of mine they wasted at a minimum, but we'll see what it turns out to be when I'm done with this one.

And all because Missa decided to try and pull the "but this math is too HARD mom!" card because she didn't want to put forth a little effort in her work today.  I think the girl shall be working on math this weekend to make up for taking time from me and making my blood pressure rise (yes it did, I'm high risk for blood pressure issues and am well aware of the signs, I was having physical symptoms of it going up)