how I get happy attitudes around here

If you have more than one child, you know that sometimes it can be difficult to get your kids to get along and be good helpers and all that. My family is no exception. On a regular basis I am breaking up fights and disciplining children for unkind words, and oh the messes they can make and then refuse to clean up.

So what's a pregnant and exhausted momma to do in such a situation? I pulled a trick out of the book of tricks that my local public school must have read. I first bought a HUGE bag of Tootsie Rolls for rewards, then I set up a reward system for different tasks and behaviors. And this weekend, I'm going to the dollar store to get a crate, some little trinkets, and some poster board so that I can make a treasure chest and chart to earn a dive in the chest.

Now, it sounds like I just stooped to bribing my kids with candy, and that's pretty accurate. BUT, so far today I have a clean kids' bedroom, 4 kids dressed, their breakfast dishes in the sink, the little 2 did their Awana verse practice, and now they are cleaning up the mess they made in the bathroom (including cleaning the toothpaste off the wall that SOMEONE smeared all over it, an entire big tube GONE in one shot). All for the total of 4 tootsie rolls each, and the bathroom (being an extra chore considering what all needs done in there) will earn them each another 4 tootsie rolls. My plan is to take advantage of the Halloween candy that's being sold right now to add some variety to my instant rewards, and upgrade it to a bucket (with a lock on it of course, I'm not stupid).

So how do I handle misbehavior with such a system in place? Well, that's easy. Right now Liddy has decided that she does not want to help with cleaning up the bathroom mess, so when its done she won't get any tootsie rolls. Or, in the case of fighting, the two sisters have to work together on a task (usually something disgusting like cleaning the hamster cage or washing out the insides of trash cans). They also can lose the ability to go to Awana, or to participate in our weekly girls' night (pizzas and a movie, Scott is banished to the bedroom while we take over the living room for this). Last week they all four lost the ability to go to Awana by misbehaving in the grocery store (I had to break up an actual fist fight, that almost NEVER happens here, plus they were all disrespectful to me, one another, and the other customers and ignored my reminders of proper behavior and back-talked me constantly).

And I do everything possible to remain consistent with my ways of doing things. Consistency is more important than anything, if I reward and discourage behaviors the same across the board then they learn what the right actions and attitudes are to have. I'm still working on how to incorporate our reward system into our schooling, which is where the treasure chest comes in. That one will have a daily small reward from the bucket, and a weekly reward from the chest. Hopefully it works well and doesn't backfire on me.