I was over at one of the chat forums I go to, reading and responding as usual instead of working on my college assignments. Anyway, one of the discussions was about how our husbands support us as homeschooling parents, asking us to tell how they are involved. Many of the responses were typical ones such as him earning the money and being that support person when it gets tough. I posted my own reply to it, and felt that it was good enough that I wanted to share it here as well. Scott, this one is for you!
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My husband helps and supports in many ways. First, he works all the ungodly overtime he does so that we can afford for me to stay home with the kids. He isn't too fond of where he works, but he's still there after 15 years because it pays well enough that we are able to be a single-income family.
Secondly, he comepletely takes over bedtime at nights for me. He does baths, brushing teeth, tuck-ins, and their bedtime story time (which is when our lang. arts books are read to the kids, he reads anywhere from 2-4 books and 3-6 poems each night to the kids). Now this is more of a need so that I can do my college class work at night (thank goodness for online college programs) but it is a HUGE help for me.
Thirdly, after the kids are in bed at night he'll go around and do whatever chores I didn't get to during the day without my asking him normally. This takes the pressure off me to do more than just teach and cook meals during the day, so I can focus on the tasks at hand. I don't have to worry about getting all that laundry folded while I'm schooling because he'll fold it. The toys scattered about he picks up if I don't get to them during the day. He does the dishes and runs the dishwasher so Missa can unload it in the mornings.
Fourth, on weekends he helps out with catch-up lessons we do and takes over so that I can spend a day really buckling down on my college work and I can prep for the upcoming week of homeschool. In fact, he's making breakfast now for them and I'm supposed to be finishing a paper for my class (taking a break) as I type this.
He also is my support person and knows that I need him to not make the local public school an option. That was something that I requested from him when we started this at the start of last school year, if I start talking about wanting to put the kids in school mid-year he is to push me back on that and demand that I'm not allowed to do it until summer break (we don't want to do a mid-year transition into public school, we'd rather do it at the start of the year). He also makes sure that I don't try to flake out on the schooling, we love the program we teach the kids with but its intense for me to teach at times. I have tendency to talk about telling the program that we're done and wanting to not stick with it, but we know that this is the first thing that has worked and if it ain't broke then we shouldn't try to fix it. I'm in that spot right now, adjusting to a new school year, and so he's working overtime to keep me on track and help me come up with ways to juggle it all.
And he handles the snide remarks from family and friends too. He feels that I'm busy enough with it all that he can take on the idiots in life, and besides nobody wants to say something snide to the man that can lift the front end of his car barehanded without struggling............... lol He only allows the positive to filter to me whenever possible because he knows that I can get discouraged when things are tough (like now) and just give up on it all when really I just need a little more time to work out things and get a groove that works for our family.
While we may have a lot of issues in our personal relationship, we do fully agree on teaching the girls at home and we will do whatever it takes to work together so that it can continue to happen for as long as possible. This is literally the only thing holding us together right now, the fact that we are working together to make this happen. I truly appreciate all that he does, and he appreciates the sacrifices that I make to teach them myself (including having to take higher doses of a few of my meds so that I can focus and not flake out on them, and to handle the stress better). its a very delicate balance and I hope it continues to work out for a very long time.
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And that my friends is exactly HOW I manage to pull off all that we do here on a daily basis. Isn't it amazing what a supportive husband will do for you when you need help? I wouldn't be able to do it all without him, that's for sure.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
teacher assignments
Well, I got the assignments for the girls' teachers overseeing us this school year. Lydia will stay with the same teacher she had last year, while this year Melissa gets a new teacher. I knew that she'd have a new teacher this year since our teacher last year only does K and 1st grade, and I made sure to tell her that she was going to have a different teacher. She didn't believe me at all apparently until I told her the name of her new teacher a couple hours ago. Now she's all worked up and upset over the new teacher assignment. She does NOT handle change well normally, and this is just another example of that difficulty with handling change. She's that kid that will seat herself under the table at a restaurant so that she doesn't have to interact with the server because its someone new. Social situations for her are fairly structured and consistent because she melts down in situations with new people most of the time.
So, I decided to take charge on this change to minimize the drama. I sent off a k-mail to her teacher letting her know how Melissa handles changes and asked if there was a way she could contact us prior to school officially starting so that Melissa can get to know her teacher a little and start getting comfortable with her before we have regular interaction during the school year. I already got a response, she'll be calling us in the next few days and will speak with Melissa during that time to help ease her into the transition to a new teacher. Hopefully this goes well and she adjusts to the teacher change quickly. If you are the praying type, please keep Melissa in your prayers for the next few weeks while she adjusts to the new school year with a new teacher.
So, I decided to take charge on this change to minimize the drama. I sent off a k-mail to her teacher letting her know how Melissa handles changes and asked if there was a way she could contact us prior to school officially starting so that Melissa can get to know her teacher a little and start getting comfortable with her before we have regular interaction during the school year. I already got a response, she'll be calling us in the next few days and will speak with Melissa during that time to help ease her into the transition to a new teacher. Hopefully this goes well and she adjusts to the teacher change quickly. If you are the praying type, please keep Melissa in your prayers for the next few weeks while she adjusts to the new school year with a new teacher.
Saturday, August 07, 2010
busy busy times
Well, its been almost a month since I've updated here. I guess I should give some background on all that has happened.
As I said in my last post, I hit my head pretty hard and had a pretty decent concussion from it. Well, It took me a couple weeks before the headaches became manageable, I'm still having some headaches from it and even after this long I have tenderness and some swelling where I hit my head.
Also, I started meds back in June for my severe ADHD. Now, if you know me really well, you probably know that I'm pretty close to non-functional because of my ADHD. So, I started meds and it really helps a lot. I am able to focus for a couple minutes now, and I can actually hold a coherent conversation. Another plus of the medicating is that I don't have as much of a problem with getting words out when I'm talking. I think a small part of my problem with this has been that my brain worked faster than my mouth can, so then it gets into overload and I just start saying "uh uh uh" until I get frustrated and just throw out a really obscene word or phrase.
Another fun thing that has happened here is that I started college classes almost 2 weeks ago. I am VERY proud of my 97.77% grade and have worked hard to keep it in that range. Hopefully I can continue to keep my grades up like this for the rest of my classes. However, it was a very difficult transition for me. I am not used to having assigned devotional studies to do each week. I was raised in an athiest home and attended secular schools for my entire life. I have always been a free studier when it comes to my daily devotionals, I just pray a bit then I grab my bible and flip until something catches my eye and I read it and journal how it applies to my life and what I can take from it to apply to current and/or past events and possible future events. I've never been much of one to sit and read a specific passage and then think about how it applies to specific questions I'm asked by the instructor. This has been quite possibly the hardest thing for me, next to being able to get the time I need to seriously think and work on my assignments without being interrupted by constant phone calls or by kids wanting/needing me.
As far as the homeschool front goes for the kids, we are still on summer break here. According to OHVA, our OLS will be updated with our new course materials on the 16th so we've been just hanging out and enjoying our time off. I have a full round of dentist cleanings scheduled for all 4 kids in Columbus on the 25th, and Kimberly starts Head Start in September 4 mornings a week. Also, we are required to start logging attendance on August 25th for OHVA with the 2 oldest kids, and I'm considering signing up Jordan for Head Start in September if they have any openings for a 3 year old when she turns 3 on September 3rd, purely for the sake of being able to spend 4 mornings a week really focusing on homeschool with the oldest 2 kids. But then, we've also considered withdrawing Kimberly and just letting her start on some K work at home instead of sending her off to preschool. She has learned all her letter sounds this summer, and we are starting to blend and work on beginning to read simple words. I have a copy of "Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons" and she's been doing it. Right now we're just taking it slow, I did lesson 1 in the reading this week and now we're working on the sounds writing part. I'm thinking I may end up having to just do the reading portion and ignore the written work, just working on individual letters as she learns them for printing. After all, she is only 4 1/2 so we have time.
For Scott, we got exciting news that will completely change the dynamic of our home. The optical lab he works at got contracts for Medicaid from 2 additional states this month, so starting in the very near future (I think on Monday) there will be a lot more mandatory overtime. This means that we get all our income back, and then some, so we can start working at paying off our debts again to get back on track like we should be. I know that isn't a big deal to some, but for us it is a big deal considering his hours got cut back so badly that we ended up having to go down and get food stamps just so that we could feed our family for a while. I am REALLY looking forward to being able to tell them that we no longer qualify, because this will mean that we've done something good for ourselves. We want to make our financial situation so that we never have to apply again, even when we DO qualify for the aid. We want to be completely NOT dependent on the government for anything, and having to take the food stamps has really been painful especially for me. But it has given me a valuable lesson in not being so quick to judge others who are on assistance because you truly don't always know the whole story. I know that many people who look at my family would think that we manipulate the system because we are well-dressed, own a house, and have decent vehicles instead of renting a dump apartment in the ghetto, wearing ratty raggedy clothes, and having a beat up ugly car that doesn't run half the time. Having this lesson has really helped me to understand better about others and showing a little more grace to those in need. I just wish I didn't have to learn it sitting in the welfare office, by having a caseworker who was rude to me while I did the interview for food stamps because I was wearing my favorite red heels and dressed nicely and I'm a stay-at-home mom who homeschools instead of putting them in daycare and school so I can work. It really is an eye-opening experience, and I'm hoping that I can carry it with me as a valuable lesson learned for the rest of my life, as a reminder that we don't always know the full situation around something.
But that's pretty much it. We've been enjoying summer break, I've been recovering nicely from my head injury, and I started college. Hopefully I can update more after school starts for the kids with a great report on how our homeschool days go for us with me in college fulle time and Scott working what may as well be a second job with all the overtime he's going to be getting.
As I said in my last post, I hit my head pretty hard and had a pretty decent concussion from it. Well, It took me a couple weeks before the headaches became manageable, I'm still having some headaches from it and even after this long I have tenderness and some swelling where I hit my head.
Also, I started meds back in June for my severe ADHD. Now, if you know me really well, you probably know that I'm pretty close to non-functional because of my ADHD. So, I started meds and it really helps a lot. I am able to focus for a couple minutes now, and I can actually hold a coherent conversation. Another plus of the medicating is that I don't have as much of a problem with getting words out when I'm talking. I think a small part of my problem with this has been that my brain worked faster than my mouth can, so then it gets into overload and I just start saying "uh uh uh" until I get frustrated and just throw out a really obscene word or phrase.
Another fun thing that has happened here is that I started college classes almost 2 weeks ago. I am VERY proud of my 97.77% grade and have worked hard to keep it in that range. Hopefully I can continue to keep my grades up like this for the rest of my classes. However, it was a very difficult transition for me. I am not used to having assigned devotional studies to do each week. I was raised in an athiest home and attended secular schools for my entire life. I have always been a free studier when it comes to my daily devotionals, I just pray a bit then I grab my bible and flip until something catches my eye and I read it and journal how it applies to my life and what I can take from it to apply to current and/or past events and possible future events. I've never been much of one to sit and read a specific passage and then think about how it applies to specific questions I'm asked by the instructor. This has been quite possibly the hardest thing for me, next to being able to get the time I need to seriously think and work on my assignments without being interrupted by constant phone calls or by kids wanting/needing me.
As far as the homeschool front goes for the kids, we are still on summer break here. According to OHVA, our OLS will be updated with our new course materials on the 16th so we've been just hanging out and enjoying our time off. I have a full round of dentist cleanings scheduled for all 4 kids in Columbus on the 25th, and Kimberly starts Head Start in September 4 mornings a week. Also, we are required to start logging attendance on August 25th for OHVA with the 2 oldest kids, and I'm considering signing up Jordan for Head Start in September if they have any openings for a 3 year old when she turns 3 on September 3rd, purely for the sake of being able to spend 4 mornings a week really focusing on homeschool with the oldest 2 kids. But then, we've also considered withdrawing Kimberly and just letting her start on some K work at home instead of sending her off to preschool. She has learned all her letter sounds this summer, and we are starting to blend and work on beginning to read simple words. I have a copy of "Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons" and she's been doing it. Right now we're just taking it slow, I did lesson 1 in the reading this week and now we're working on the sounds writing part. I'm thinking I may end up having to just do the reading portion and ignore the written work, just working on individual letters as she learns them for printing. After all, she is only 4 1/2 so we have time.
For Scott, we got exciting news that will completely change the dynamic of our home. The optical lab he works at got contracts for Medicaid from 2 additional states this month, so starting in the very near future (I think on Monday) there will be a lot more mandatory overtime. This means that we get all our income back, and then some, so we can start working at paying off our debts again to get back on track like we should be. I know that isn't a big deal to some, but for us it is a big deal considering his hours got cut back so badly that we ended up having to go down and get food stamps just so that we could feed our family for a while. I am REALLY looking forward to being able to tell them that we no longer qualify, because this will mean that we've done something good for ourselves. We want to make our financial situation so that we never have to apply again, even when we DO qualify for the aid. We want to be completely NOT dependent on the government for anything, and having to take the food stamps has really been painful especially for me. But it has given me a valuable lesson in not being so quick to judge others who are on assistance because you truly don't always know the whole story. I know that many people who look at my family would think that we manipulate the system because we are well-dressed, own a house, and have decent vehicles instead of renting a dump apartment in the ghetto, wearing ratty raggedy clothes, and having a beat up ugly car that doesn't run half the time. Having this lesson has really helped me to understand better about others and showing a little more grace to those in need. I just wish I didn't have to learn it sitting in the welfare office, by having a caseworker who was rude to me while I did the interview for food stamps because I was wearing my favorite red heels and dressed nicely and I'm a stay-at-home mom who homeschools instead of putting them in daycare and school so I can work. It really is an eye-opening experience, and I'm hoping that I can carry it with me as a valuable lesson learned for the rest of my life, as a reminder that we don't always know the full situation around something.
But that's pretty much it. We've been enjoying summer break, I've been recovering nicely from my head injury, and I started college. Hopefully I can update more after school starts for the kids with a great report on how our homeschool days go for us with me in college fulle time and Scott working what may as well be a second job with all the overtime he's going to be getting.
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